Life Advice
Posted: Sun May 13, 2012 9:14 pmHello, members of SWGO. Now, as this "Arabella" has failed to make her presence known in the beautiful virgin landscape of this forum, I feel that it is my duty to provide advice to all those kind denizens out there that seek it. Before we get started, I would like to put down some basic guidelines that will almost certainly help you in the pursuit of happiness!
1. If there are geese in the middle of the sidewalk as you make your way down it, do not antagonize them. Stare at them until they leave. If you have brought children along with you, then you are safe - the geese will acknowledge your strength and sympathize with your drive to protect your children. You will pass unharmed, and both of your families will be touched forever. Bring several thousand dollars for hospital bills.
2. When a man and a woman love eachother very much, they tend to [m'kay]. When a boy and a girl love eachother very much, they will have no problem talking when their friends are around but when they leave they will just stare at eachother until one of them coughs. It will then get more awkward. After a few months of this, they will [m'kay], and neither of them will look back fondly on the experience. To keep this from happening, do not have any contact with the opposite sex. Ever. [m'kay] [female dog] are just [m'kay] PAIN INCARNATE GOD I AHTE MY LIFE
3. Anyway, there's another thing people tend to have issues with - namely, housework. It's not that the work itself is terribly difficult, it's just... Well jesus [m'kay] christ have you ever cleaned out a sink that you forgot to clean for like a year or two? jesus christ I ran some hot water and [poo] down there and then got in with a pen cap and started scooping it out and it was like moist and i think it might have been hair but there was also some yellow and white [poo] and i think it might have been mold and oh my [m'kay] GOD i can't believe people go to school to become plumbers. Anyway, always hire a plumber. It is not worth the risk.
4. Big Macs may be slightly unhealthy. Do not eat them.
5. Big Macs are [m'kay] delicious and we all know you're going to eat them anyway you fat [m'kay] so you might as well get three.
Anyway, that concludes the basic guidelines bit. Go ahead and send me a PM with all of your life troubles and I will solve them for you in no time flat!
Your friendly neighbor,
[m'kay] Yourself
1. If there are geese in the middle of the sidewalk as you make your way down it, do not antagonize them. Stare at them until they leave. If you have brought children along with you, then you are safe - the geese will acknowledge your strength and sympathize with your drive to protect your children. You will pass unharmed, and both of your families will be touched forever. Bring several thousand dollars for hospital bills.
2. When a man and a woman love eachother very much, they tend to [m'kay]. When a boy and a girl love eachother very much, they will have no problem talking when their friends are around but when they leave they will just stare at eachother until one of them coughs. It will then get more awkward. After a few months of this, they will [m'kay], and neither of them will look back fondly on the experience. To keep this from happening, do not have any contact with the opposite sex. Ever. [m'kay] [female dog] are just [m'kay] PAIN INCARNATE GOD I AHTE MY LIFE
3. Anyway, there's another thing people tend to have issues with - namely, housework. It's not that the work itself is terribly difficult, it's just... Well jesus [m'kay] christ have you ever cleaned out a sink that you forgot to clean for like a year or two? jesus christ I ran some hot water and [poo] down there and then got in with a pen cap and started scooping it out and it was like moist and i think it might have been hair but there was also some yellow and white [poo] and i think it might have been mold and oh my [m'kay] GOD i can't believe people go to school to become plumbers. Anyway, always hire a plumber. It is not worth the risk.
4. Big Macs may be slightly unhealthy. Do not eat them.
5. Big Macs are [m'kay] delicious and we all know you're going to eat them anyway you fat [m'kay] so you might as well get three.
Anyway, that concludes the basic guidelines bit. Go ahead and send me a PM with all of your life troubles and I will solve them for you in no time flat!
Your friendly neighbor,
[m'kay] Yourself
