Page 1 of 3

Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 3:17 pm
by WD-40
A Gorilla And A Redneck
A small zoo in Georgia obtained a very rare species of gorilla.Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00."

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 5:45 pm
by masterjedi
:roll: haha
this man walks into a bar a has a pint.then turns to the people on the left and says "your a bunch of idiots" and then do the people on the right "and your bunch of fools" and walks out.
next night back same again.
next night back same again.
next night back same again.....after he has gone a bloke on the left says "if he comes in tomorrow night im gonna say something to him.
next night he is back has a pint turns to the people on the left and says " your a bunch of idiots" and to the right "your bunch of fools" and this bloke on the left says "im no idiot" so he says "well get over there with the fools then"
:action-smiley-043:

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:36 pm
by masterjedi
can we have some good jokes now? :gunsmilie: :gunsmilie: :gunsmilie:

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:36 pm
by 11_Panama_
masterjedi wrote:can we have some good jokes now? :gunsmilie: :gunsmilie: :gunsmilie:

We have you, the best joke ever.

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:37 pm
by masterjedi
ouch :innocent:

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:48 pm
by masterjedi
what room do ghosts not like?
the living room :lol:

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:51 pm
by masterjedi
what do you do if you find a tiger sitting in you chair?
sit somewhere else :gunsmilie:

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:56 pm
by 11_Panama_
masterjedi wrote:what do you do if you find a tiger sitting in you chair?
sit somewhere else :gunsmilie:

What do you do when some dumbass kid spams the forums? You ban them. :punk:

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:57 pm
by masterjedi
what do you do when some one is being rude?
be rude back? i dunno :gun_bandana:

Re: Jokes and stories

PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:06 pm
by masterjedi
thats really intolerant of you though :gunsmilie: