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Hey, to all you people on SWGO that care about me (or don't). Maybe some of you who don't even know me will get something out of this. It's a long read so only do so if you like, care about life and [poo], hell if I know. Read or don't I just want to put it all down in words.

So for the past ~three years, I have gotten more out of shape as my Fibromyalgia raised its ugly head and started to get really bad. The cycle was terrible, more pain caused me to move less which in turn caused more pain. For those of you who don't know what Fibromyalgia is, imagine all the nerves in your legs and arms are on fire. Now imagine that pain never going away, just getting slightly better or much worse during the day. That's about as close of a description of Fibro that I can muster. I know at least one brave woman on this site understands my pain(I wish her the best). Fibro isn't exactly common.

A couple weeks ago, I sprained the ligament in my left arm pretty badly. Like, unable to move it at all and had to keep it still bad. It's gotten better, but this was a bit of a wake up call. I sprained it by leaning on my arm slightly at a normal angle that I always do. My muscles and ligaments have atrophied really horrifically. Walking ~300 feet makes me out of breath, not running, just walking at a normal pace (walking slowly helps). I almost missed one of my best friend's grad party because of my poor psychical health. I just weighed myself at 237 lbs. I'm 72'' tall, so I do need to lose fat content by quite a bit.

I'm the joint leader of my own small indie company, but I barely act like it. I sit around all day and play games to take my mind off of my pain. I used to work day and night and love it, but then I no longer could focus on it so I fell to things I could handle.

I have not nor will I turn to drugs to quell my pain, legal or otherwise. I take some meds, Lyrica for one (for the Fibromyalgia), it does jack [poo] really and isn't a narcotic. I've tried drinking a little alcohol, but I can't stomach enough of it to help the pain. I would make a poor excuse for a drinker. If any of you have issue that a 20 year old has drunken a little, I don't give a damn. It's a year off and I'm old enough to die in a war.

Basically I refuse to take drugs like narcotics or pot because I simply can't handle meds messing with my head. I once took a drug called Ketamine, about five years ago, before surgery. I almost died, my BPM raised to 220 sustained and it lasted for about 4 hours, all the effects didn't wear off for about 10 hours. It gave me PTSD from the experience for about a year and I vowed never to take a drug that can mess with my head again.

Anyway, I digress. My end point is my life has been going down the [poo] for quite some time as my health degraded. It needs to change if I'm going to live. So as a personal promise to myself and no one else, I am going to get up from the chair each morning and exercise for 10 minutes. Once that becomes easy I shall bump it up and so forth. On top of that, I also will do some of the work I need to for my business partner, every day.

This does not mean I'm going to stop lounging for most of the day and playing games, Not only do I know I am unable to just stop doing that altogether, i don't really need to. It's going to take lots of small steps, I can't overstate how degraded my muscles really are.

So that's it really. What do you take from this? Hell if I know. Try and keep healthy no mat.ter how hard it is, because you will pay for it and then some otherwise.

Peace to you all, even those I don't like, and happy living.

I genuinely hope you achieve what you are aiming for, Wulf.

SB

thank you Wulf, it is good advice. And I just wanted to remind you that we are a small community, mostly made of decent people. Therefore, don't worry because i'm sure most of us here do care about you in some way, even if we only know each other through the internet. I wish you the best in your efforts and hope that your health can improve!

To lose the weight, I recommend hookers and lots of them.

Good luck Wulf. Best wishes.

Thanks everyone.

Dad wrote:To lose the weight, I recommend hookers and lots of them.

That is actually a great idea. Shame I don't have the cash to spend on them.

Sorry to hear your health has deteriorated, wish I could do more than just saying " Hope it gets better". With all due respect Wulf... don't be stupid, take the meds for the pain. I take Vicodins for my RA, and narcotic or not... it's better than not being able to function. Before my prescriptions, I couldn't walk, button up anything, tie my shoelaces... I needed help for a lot of things. I'm sore here and there, and on occasion, my RA flares up; but I can walk, work, and function. I'll say that I'm at 90-95% of what I used to be before the RA, and that's pretty damn good. Take the meds my friend. You're going to have to experiment a bit before you find the right combination of meds that work. So you might experience some bad effects from one or some of them, that's normal, try a smaller/bigger dosage or something new altogether. Point is Wulf, your way isn't working, you admitted that in your post without even saying it. Losing muscle but gaining weight, unable to walk relatively short distances, pain, and of course, your mental health (lack of concentration, but I believe that it can affect your self esteem and self worth). Your a young guy, you should be out there living it up, hanging out with friends, getting some here and there. The experience you had in the past with your medication was normal, you shouldn't of just stop... you needed to either switch, or reduced the dosage. Don't rob yourself of experiences you should be having...right now, trust me when I say this Wulfi.. the good out weights the bad. Fear nothing but God.

I'm sorry, I really should have clarified. I haven't been offered narcotics by my doctor, getting them legally is REALLY hard here in Ohio.

What I was mainly saying is I'm not going to resort to being an illegal drug user. Not that I want to take narcotics legally if I was offered them either, but that's a different malleable part of it.

Thanks regardless. One last random thing though, I don't fear my god. I don't know why that's even a saying really, why should I fear the being I worship?

I know I don't really know you, but good luck with your health and job situation. Every journey has to start with one step and only you can take that first step. Good luck, I'll be praying for you.

I feel bad for ya wulf, but something you should know about me.
For the past year I've been going to a school where i spend 6 hours sitting on a chair, and when i get home i go to my room and spend most of my free time there.

Now, around 9 months ago when i let myself go I'm 5 ft "8 and i weighted 220Lbs (if the conversion was done right, for europeans 1,72M 100KG)
I got tired of too many people saying [poo] about it, and by that i don't mean the random people, i mean my family that actually cares about me, and was worried about my future.

Right now 9 months later i weight 180Lbs so i lost around 40Lbs is 8 months(18,5KG for europeans)
The only thing i did was change my diet, not go on diet but change my lifestyle, i still eat a lot of pasta, that never changed, but i haven't touched pizzas, hamburgers, or morning bacon in those 9 months.
I changed my milk i drink with my cereals every morning to soja which has like 1/4 of the calories, no more drinks with sugar in them, trying to only eat steak or chicken when i do eat meat(i really, really really love meat fyi) or BBQ which is alright as well.
Besides that i took some diet mayonnaise instead of the regular, featuring a drop in 400Kcl per 30g with about the same taste, just a bit more expensive.
And most importantly for me, overchewing your food, and by that i mean 1 bite should be chewed at least 20 times or more, i still have issues with this, but the more you break down the mass of the food, the less issues your stomack has with burning it.

Why do you think so many children have overweight? for starters junk food, and to keep going "Eat your food fast because we're in a hurry" not even really letting your children chew their food.....

In any case that's what i can advise you for the weight problem, i lost around 20Lbs the first month, the rest came off bit by bit, sometimes i would stop losing for weeks, then suddenly lose another 5 in a couple of days so don't give up either

MT