Parenting guide for SWTOR players[epic lulz intended]

[wcocaboose]

So, you play SWTOR; excellent. Whats this you say, you also have children? This is aimed at you then, this write up will apply MMO mechanics to the parenting instance.

This instance lasts a lifetime, and resets daily from year 0 to the time your child moves out. After that the instance continues, but the mechanics are very different. This guide is intended to be for years two to about five. Other years are not covered in this guide

Tanking this instance:
This instance generally requires two tanks; however there are parents that tank this instace solo. They have my utmost respect. You and your partner will frequently swap roles of main and off tank depending on the situation, and most importantly the needs or wants of your child. You will need to become very adept at this as your child's aggro table will reset randomly, often times without reason.

Hazards of this instance:
You child has several abilities that will change the mechanics of the instance, and the actions required to get through the day. I will list several here.

Dirty diaper:
This is designed specifically to either wake up up at 3am in order to throw off the next days tanking; or assualt your olfactory nerves so hard that you cannot see straight. These effects last until the diaper is changed; then the debuff is removed.

Messes:
These are your child's main traps/snares/crowd control. These vary, in size, nature, complexity, and time to clear. Reduction in movement speed varies anywhere between 5% and 100%. Some messes when applied completely remove one of the tanks from their primary role until cleared. Messes can apply the Rage debuff, which reduces your ability to effectively and properly tank the instances. If you receive 100 stacks of the rage debuff it is necessary to kite the child, or use any rage reducing cool-downs you have.

Lego's/Small toys:
These are your child's main AOE trap, the traps vary in size from the easily spotted pile, to the often overlooked single piece. Avoid these traps at ALL costs!!!!! Movement speed reduced from 10-105%; these can also trigger the gravity debuff if they crit. These usually apply anywhere from 50 to 100 stacks of the rage debuff.

Tools you can use as a parent to aid in tanking this instance:

Food/drink:
Food and drink are one of your child's most important needs. They are also one of the most effective debuffs in this instance. They are effective in reducing your threat generated, and often will reset your child's enrage timer completely.

Toys:
These are adds that the parent is able to gather or loot from various other sources. Often these will be handed down
and traded between players who have passed a given stage of the instance. Other times these can be procured from vendors in many sub instances. These can temporarily reduce your threat generated to 0, and hold your child's aggro quite effectively. However these should not be relied upon heavily.
Pets:
These are one of the greatest thread generating traps available in the instance. They will often reset enrage timers completely, and are capable of applying the laughter buff. This is a buff for both your child and yourself. This buff, decreases or resets enrage timers, and tank rage, as well as increases overall happiness This increases all players enjoyment of the instance.

Tanking:
The greatest tool at your disposal is your presence in the instance, and actively tanking the kid aggro. This will increase the health of the parent child relationship; as well as overall enjoyment of the instance. There is no substitute for active tanking.

This is all I can think of for now, more to be added to this guide as it comes. Keep in mind this is meant to be taken as a joke; if you cannot laugh at this don't reply indicating I am a horrible person.

[NiteRunner81]

Topic has been split. The secondary serious er has been moved to "Dear Arabella" since it is of use for parents/potential parents/ advice er.