NiteRunner81 wrote:nap time comes before pants time not after
Speaking as someone who's pretty high right now, are you high as [m'kay] right now? Please fill out this questionnaire
1. Is that goddamn doorbell going off y/n
2. Did you check and make sure nobody was at the door? If yes, is the doorbell still ringing?
3. The doorbell is not ringing, nobody is at the door. But the doorbell actually IS ringing. Is this
A. [derriere orifice] kids being [derriere orifice], or
B. Someone is trying to [m'kay] kill you
If A, complete questionnaire. If B, continue.
4. Are you prepared for any eventuality? Do you have several implements of death and destruction, is your cat ready to strike at any time, etc. If yes, continue. If no, dude you are [m'kay] dead are you even paying attention there is a goddamn WAR ON YOU LITTLE NANCY BOY [poo] GEAR UP OR DIE
5. You are prepared. Wait for the chance to prove yourself on the field of battle, putting yourself against combatant after combatant until you can finally defeat the cruel gladiator Gothmog and secure the safety of your wife, Victoria (she likes to be called Vikki)
6. As you embrace your newfound love, you feel a sharp pain in your gut. She has killed you. You look up at her, and you realize that Gothmog himself has dressed in your love's clothes, and you have failed your quest. Also, wizards illusioned that [poo] with Gothmog before so you actually just killed your one true love. Also you hugged a dude haha you gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
7. If yes to all of this your questions are answered, live your days in peace and harmony
