The Two Cow Theory

[WD-40]

The "Two-Cow Philosophy/Theory"

> A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep
> one and give one to your neighbor.
>
> A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has
> none. You feel guilty for
> being successful. You vote people into office who
> tax your cows, forcing you
> to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The
> people you voted for then
> take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your
> neighbor. You feel
> righteous.
>
> A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has
> none. So what?
>
> A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes
> one and gives it to your neighbor.
>
> A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government
> seizes both and provides you with milk.
>
> A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
> both and sells you the
> milk. You join the underground and start a campaign
> of sabotage.
>
> DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The
> government taxes you to
> the point you have to sell both to support a man in
> a foreign country who
> has only one cow, which was a gift from your
> government.
>
> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You
> sell one, buy a bull and
> build a herd of cows.
>
> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The
> government takes them
> both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
> milk, then pours the
> milk down the drain.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell
> one, and force the
> other to produce the milk of four cows. You are
> surprised when the cow drops
> dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on
> strike because you want
> three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
> redesign them so they are
> one-eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and produce
> twenty times the milk.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
> reengineer them so they live
> for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
>
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you
> don't know where they are.
> You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count
> them and learn you have
> five cows. You count them again and learn you have
> 42 cows. You count them
> again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting
> cows and open another
> bottle of vodka.
>
> A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows,
> but you're not sure
> where they are. You'll look for them tomorrow.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of
> which belongs to you. You
> charge the owners for storing them.
>
> A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
> enter into a partnership
> with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000
> cows and the American
> corporation declares bankruptcy.
>

[Duel of Fates]

I only laugh because it is true.

[nobody]

Nice

[Brazosgrad]

That was damn funny. obviously its an American-made joke.

[Admiral_Aeka]

awesome

[(SWGO)Minas_Thirith]