Hey, to all you people on SWGO that care about me (or don't). Maybe some of you who don't even know me will get something out of this. It's a long read so only do so if you like, care about life and [poo], hell if I know. Read or don't I just want to put it all down in words.
So for the past ~three years, I have gotten more out of shape as my Fibromyalgia raised its ugly head and started to get really bad. The cycle was terrible, more pain caused me to move less which in turn caused more pain. For those of you who don't know what Fibromyalgia is, imagine all the nerves in your legs and arms are on fire. Now imagine that pain never going away, just getting slightly better or much worse during the day. That's about as close of a description of Fibro that I can muster. I know at least one brave woman on this site understands my pain(I wish her the best). Fibro isn't exactly common.
A couple weeks ago, I sprained the ligament in my left arm pretty badly. Like, unable to move it at all and had to keep it still bad. It's gotten better, but this was a bit of a wake up call. I sprained it by leaning on my arm slightly at a normal angle that I always do. My muscles and ligaments have atrophied really horrifically. Walking ~300 feet makes me out of breath, not running, just walking at a normal pace (walking slowly helps). I almost missed one of my best friend's grad party because of my poor psychical health. I just weighed myself at 237 lbs. I'm 72'' tall, so I do need to lose fat content by quite a bit.
I'm the joint leader of my own small indie company, but I barely act like it. I sit around all day and play games to take my mind off of my pain. I used to work day and night and love it, but then I no longer could focus on it so I fell to things I could handle.
I have not nor will I turn to drugs to quell my pain, legal or otherwise. I take some meds, Lyrica for one (for the Fibromyalgia), it does jack [poo] really and isn't a narcotic. I've tried drinking a little alcohol, but I can't stomach enough of it to help the pain. I would make a poor excuse for a drinker. If any of you have issue that a 20 year old has drunken a little, I don't give a damn. It's a year off and I'm old enough to die in a war.
Basically I refuse to take drugs like narcotics or pot because I simply can't handle meds messing with my head. I once took a drug called Ketamine, about five years ago, before surgery. I almost died, my BPM raised to 220 sustained and it lasted for about 4 hours, all the effects didn't wear off for about 10 hours. It gave me PTSD from the experience for about a year and I vowed never to take a drug that can mess with my head again.
Anyway, I digress. My end point is my life has been going down the [poo] for quite some time as my health degraded. It needs to change if I'm going to live. So as a personal promise to myself and no one else, I am going to get up from the chair each morning and exercise for 10 minutes. Once that becomes easy I shall bump it up and so forth. On top of that, I also will do some of the work I need to for my business partner, every day.
This does not mean I'm going to stop lounging for most of the day and playing games, Not only do I know I am unable to just stop doing that altogether, i don't really need to. It's going to take lots of small steps, I can't overstate how degraded my muscles really are.
So that's it really. What do you take from this? Hell if I know. Try and keep healthy no mat.ter how hard it is, because you will pay for it and then some otherwise.
Peace to you all, even those I don't like, and happy living.